It is funny how in my last blog post I wrote about loving oneself first and foremost, following the path of least resistance, of most allowing and then a few days ago I had a big meltdown. I react, have better and worse days, just like everybody else, but what normally takes me a few seconds or minutes to get over, this time lasted for a few hours. I do not remember the last time I thought or felt that way. My ego had a blast, I could hear thoughts based on some limiting beliefs and old programs and this time unlike in the past, I let myself be swept away by self-pity, victimhood, anxiety, frustration, basically feeling like the whole world was against me. It was totally absurd, but in that moment, I have had enough.
It was one of those days. I had been listening to far too many podcasts and books, the ones where you have to concentrate, think things through and on that particular day while listening to a book that asked a lot of questions, I started feeling overwhelmed. I realised that for quite a few days I had been too much in my head instead of in my heart. I let too many insecurities and ego thoughts in, I put pressure on myself and I started taking everything far too seriously. What is more, it was that time of the cycle where everything feels more difficult and darker anyway, it had been cold, rainy and cloudy outside for days and a clash with a teenager at home tipped the scales.
I do not regret having that meltdown, feeling and thinking in a particular way as it showed me areas where I still have some work to do. Having a good cry was cathartic, helped me release some of the tension and look at the situation differently.
When you start feeling overwhelmed, please take time for yourself, be as kind, loving, gentle and understanding towards yourself as you can. Listen to your body and check the way you feel. When you are tired, go to sleep earlier or have a nap if that is at all possible. Far too often we take care of everyone else leaving ourselves at the very bottom of a long list. When we stop enjoying our lives, when we feel overwhelmed, unhappy or stressed, everyone around us will also be affected.
When we start our day with gratitude, when we take time in the morning to meditate and overcome ourselves, when we do our best to stay during the day as present and in our hearts as possible and we listen to ourselves, we will feel happier and we will be better equipped to deal with people and situations. That said, there will still be times when you will feel worse, when your energy will be lower and that’s when you will need your care and attention even more. Slow down, take time for yourself, do not judge and be as gentle and loving as possible.
I often say that, but we really are so very powerful. When I gave in to ego on that day and started feeling like a victim, there was a power cut at home. I knew what was happening, but I carried on with negative feelings. However, when my vacuum cleaner started malfunctioning, I knew I had to make a decision and change the way I felt. These thoughts and feelings weren’t loving to me, they didn’t come from my Truth but from ego. I had to agree that I didn’t like the way they were making me feel, I worked far too hard and for too long to change myself to let all these old, unwanted programs and limiting beliefs come back now and influence my life and consequently the lives of people close to me.
If you have one or a few bad days, you give in to your ego, forget to meditate, please do not judge yourself and start to feel guilty. Check what there is to learn from that challenge, what you still need to change in yourself and slowly go back to love with as much kindness and understanding towards yourself as possible. Do your best to focus on the positive instead of on the negative. Appreciate yourself more, remember all the times you did something well, when you chose yourself, when you can be proud of yourself and cultivate feelings of worthiness, gratitude and appreciation. Spending time for days on end feeling guilty and judging yourself is not going to make you feel any better but will make things far worse. Instead, please take time for yourself, be still, listen to your Truth and ask for guidance. Sometimes doing nothing when you feel overwhelmed is the best thing. I decided to take my headphones off and take a break from listening to anything after having my meltdown. Guided meditations are an exception here, I do them every day as they are as important to me as breathing, but instead of jumping into another chapter or a podcast, I decided to take it slowly. I listened to myself, trusted the Truth and let myself be guided. I knew that if there was something that I was to hear, I would know, I would feel it. I didn’t have to wait long as that evening a friend of mine sent me a few short audio clips that were meant for me. It was both the content and the speaker that were significant. In that moment I felt so much unconditional love and support for me that my heart opened even more and I was overcome with gratitude, love and joy. The Truth, Source does not care whether I had a meltdown, what kind of thoughts and feelings I had towards It, others or myself. It would never judge me, blame me or try to punish me. It loves me unconditionally, always and forever. It is only us who judge and blame. We are our own worst critics.
Please remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you stand up and try again.
You are important. Recognise that there will be times when you will need more of your care and attention. Look after yourself, be good to yourself, listen to your heart and work on appreciating yourself more. Believe in yourself and never give up on yourself. There is only one of you. You are very special and you deserve your love and appreciation 💜
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