Honest and true to who we really are

Not that long ago I was lying in bed thinking whether I had any expectations towards another person in a relationship. I was relieved, happy and actually proud of myself, when there were none (I will explain in a minute why I used the word “proud”). The only thing that I heard was “Honest and true to who they really are”.

As a society in general we tend to have many expectations of what our partners should look like, what they should think, how they should feel and act, what kind of a job they should have, how much money and so on. We want them to love us so we can feel loved, we want to have somebody in our lives to feel secure and not to feel lonely, basically to feel all that we do not give ourselves. I love how Dr Joe Dispenza says to write down all the things we want in another person and then become them. In order to create a loving, honest and true relationship, first we need to change and become all that we want the other person to be so there is no more lack in us. We need to fall in love with ourselves and our lives. We need to go beyond all the emotions that keep us stuck in the past, all the guilt, blame, judgment, fear, hate, unworthiness... and become love. I am not trying to imply here even for a moment that we should never react, that we should not feel other emotions than love as that would be pretty impossible. After all we are Divine beings in a human form who came here to enjoy it all, to grow and evolve, and in order to do that there will always be challenges that will help us become better versions of ourselves. The key is to recognize that all these challenges are really opportunities, that there are going to be better and worse days, that nobody is perfect and perfection is not a goal here in this life and just simply let go of fearful and unrealistic expectations and have fun. Can you enjoy eating chocolate, a delicious meal or drinking wine without feeling guilty? Of course you can and I believe that you should. Feeling guilty is not loving to you and is only going to make you feel worse.

When did we start taking everything so seriously? This life is full of wonders, our planet is simply breathtaking and we are here to enjoy it all. I think it’s high time we began to take care of ourselves, of how we feel, stopped pretending to be somebody who we are not, stopped being victims trying to constantly please others and begun to truly love ourselves, live our lives to the full being honest and true to who we really are. We are Divine beings, we are pure, unconditional love, always loved and guided, we are powerful creators of our lives and we should start treating ourselves accordingly.

I was proud of myself when I couldn’t find any expectations towards a loved one because that meant that I really did change, that I was free, that there was no lack in me and that I didn’t need anybody or anything to make me happy. Having no expectations towards somebody else also meant I had no expectations towards myself other than being honest and true to who I really am, to love, to joy, to peace and freedom. Loving oneself feels absolutely incredible!

There is still plenty that I will need to realise, that I will need to change. I will never stop working on being a better version of myself, there will be times that I will forget, when I will react, when I will say or do something stupid, but the difference now is my attitude, my love towards myself and as long as I continue to foster that love, I will continue to grow and become more of the love that we all really are.

Looking at my past and mainly my childhood, my family, ancestors and the multitude of limiting beliefs and toxic patterns of behaviour, all the anxiety, anger, self-judgment, guilt, blame, lack and feeling not good enough that were so deeply rooted in me, if I could change and truly fall in love with myself, anybody can, including you! Stop finding excuses and start living up to your full potential, truly loving yourself and enjoying your life. You are so worth it! 💜