Have you unsuccessfully been trying to change something in your life? Does one thing that you do not want or need keep repeating itself over and over again? Do you want to get rid of certain emotions but nothing seems to work?
Have you answered yourself truthfully whether you are ready to let go of fear, worry and doubt? Anger and frustration? Guilt, judgement and blame? What about unworthiness? What is there that you need to work on releasing in order to become the person you want to be? To love yourself, to be happy, to feel worthy and complete?
Do you really want to change? Is there something that is sabotaging you and the process? If you haven’t yet, please read my blog post on "Limiting Beliefs" before you continue.
Be completely honest with yourself. Is there something that you still find exciting in feeling the emotions that keep you from being happy and reaching your full potential? Observe yourself what happens when someone says something horrible to you, when you become angry. Is there a rush of adrenaline? Do you want to talk back? Does it feel exciting for a few seconds? We all know what happens if you give in to anger, lash out, say hurtful things that can’t be taken back. Is it worth it? Only you can answer that and only you can do something to change it. We become addicted to feeling a certain way and in order to change it, we need to want to change, we need to commit and persevere.
When years ago someone pointed out to me that I still got angry and stressed because I found something attractive in these emotions, I didn’t take it to heart, I wasn’t hurt or annoyed. I was ready for a change. I knew I wanted to find solutions to my problems. Discovering that I was in control and that I could do something in order to change was actually liberating.
You can imagine what happens when you feel certain emotions every day for years. They become automatic, your body becomes your mind and you start feeling anger without realising it. Your body gets used to feeling certain way and will then crave it. Familiar also means safe. Your ego will send you thoughts that will enable you to feel the familiar feelings of anger although there might be no reason at that moment for you to get mad. You will remember your partner telling you off yesterday, another driver being rude to you, your boss who didn’t like your presentation and you start feeling frustrated. The chemical reactions that take place in our bodies when we feel certain emotions are addictive. We need them to feel alive, even if the emotions that we feel are negative and bring us anguish and distress.
If anger or anxiety are problematic for you, what do you feel when it is calm, safe and stable where you are? How does it make you feel? Do you tend to sabotage it by starting a fight or saying something nasty? Would it feel boring, scary or unfamiliar to stay in peace and safety? If in your childhood you experienced a lot of situations that brought on anger or stress, then relationships that bring stability and peace might feel unattractive and boring to you. You might unconsciously search for people and experiences that activate those feelings of anger or anxiety in order to feel safe, to keep the familiar or escape from trauma and feelings you do not want to look at.
When you know that you are addicted to certain emotions and you really want to change, please do your best not to add fuel to the fire. Do not start arguments, switch off the news, watch comedies instead of dramas or horrors and get very clear on what you want to change and who you want to become.
If you truly want to change and there are people, situations and/or places that constantly push your buttons, it might be necessary to establish boundaries or even remove yourself from them. That is not an easy thing to do, but can be necessary if you want to succeed.
The more you observe your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, the easier it is going to be to catch yourself before things get out of hand. You can’t just do it when you feel like it and expect to see lasting results. You need to commit and persevere no matter what. There will be better and worse days, you will make mistakes, but the more patient and understanding you are with yourself, the more you work on loving yourself and the process, the easier it is going to be and the quicker you are going to change.
You are worthy of being happy and free. You deserve to liberate yourself from negative emotions.
Choose you.
Choose freedom and happiness 💜
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