Why do I keep telling you that you are amazing, special and perfect? Firstly, because it is true and secondly because I know what it feels like not to know who you are and feeling very far from being perfect.
If you haven’t yet, please read my blog post on ‘Self-worth’ as these two topics are connected.
There are so many people, including young ones who are not sure about who they are, who are struggling to find their sense of self and their confidence. It is very easy nowadays with social media, news and television to be totally confused about what is right, what is acceptable, about how we should think and feel, what we should say, how we should act and what we should look like.
We tend to look outside for answers, we often listen to other people, follow their agenda, believe in what they believe instead of focusing on what is inside, on what it is that we truly want and who we really are. We want to feel loved and accepted, we want to belong and are sometimes prepared to put our identity, our beliefs, our wants and needs to one side and become who others want us to be. It is a slippery slope as it is easy to lose yourself wanting to please others and being somebody else.
Some of us might struggle to find our own identity and confidence after traumatic experiences, especially if they happened when we were children.
Let’s take me as an example here. When I was a baby I smiled a lot and I loved cuddles. Gradually however, things started to change. People around me loved me, but there were a lot of problems stemming from their childhood that influenced them greatly, they probably didn’t properly realise and/or didn’t want to admit to the fact that there was an issue and therefore couldn’t find the right tools that would help them change. There was anger, blame, control and aggression. My words, actions and reactions were often scrutinized and I had to make sure my feelings, behaviour and words were all acceptable so I wouldn’t be punished. Gradually I had to learn how to be somebody else.
At the same time my lovely mum did everything for me. I tried to help her many times in different chores but she wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t the only one, she did everything for everybody. In all of this, I can see how easy it was to lose my sense of self, to become a very anxious being unable to make her own decisions. I understand why my self-confidence and self-worth were undermined, why I struggled with anxiety and terrible outbursts of anger and why it took me so many years to find out who I really was. I got there in the end because I was determined, because I simply wouldn’t give up. I had to be honest with myself, I had to make a decision to want to find out who I really was, to do everything to stop being anxious and angry, to find peace and to find the real me. I had to commit time and effort and I had to persevere.
As the time went on, I became more and more confident, but what really changed everything for me was discovering that I wasn’t merely a weak and fragile human, but an unlimited, amazing, perfect being - a being of love and not just any love, but pure and unconditional love. What is more, the love that I was part of, loved me back - unconditionally and always, just the way I was. I understood that everything was in me, that I could do anything, that I could change, that I didn’t need to follow others and that I no longer needed to look for myself and the Truth outside. I was the creator of my life, I was responsible for it and it was up to me whether I would let the fear overwhelm me, whether I would follow ego, whether I would let my past dictate my present and future or whether I would choose to do something about it, decide to change and work every day on connecting to and following the Truth inside, the pure and unconditional love that was the real me. I had a choice! I was in charge! That really freed me.
It took me many years to discover the Truth and there were times when I followed others, when I believed in what they were saying without pausing and checking with myself what I really thought and felt about it. I looked for the meaning of my life, for unconditional love, for myself in so many places until I finally realised that all of it was in me.
I am not saying that it is wrong to follow others, to believe them and to trust them. However, what I would say is, before you go and give your trust to others, before you start believing in what they believe, first go within and find out who you really are and what it is that you really want. You won’t find your true self by pretending to be somebody else and you won’t find lasting happiness outside of yourself, no matter how hard you try. Your true self and real happiness can only be found within.
You do not have to travel, you do not have to spend money, go on a diet, speak to others, remember and analyse your past in order to find your true self, to discover how amazing, special and perfect you are. You do however need to commit time and effort every day to go within and you need to persevere. You need to be prepared to put yourself first in order to discover the love and perfection that you really are.
Is all the hard work worth the effort? Only you can decide whether you want to discover for yourself who you truly are, how much you value peace and freedom that comes from realising the truth and only you can answer how much you and your happiness is worth to you 💜
Add comment
Comments