Everybody is good at something, everybody is special

It is true that everybody is good at something and everybody is special. But how many of us really know this, how many of us concentrate on and appreciate our strengths and how many see mainly flaws?

I was very harsh on myself most of my life, always trying to be better, doing one course and one degree after another, never being completely satisfied with my achievements and who I was. There were many reasons behind my behaviour, but the bottom line was that I didn’t really know myself. I didn’t spend time going within trying to find out who I really was, I concentrated mainly on what was missing instead of paying more attention to my strong points.

After so many years of studying and learning languages, I noticed that I hardly remembered any of it. I knew that some people had a photographic memory and that most of us forgot quite a lot of details of what we had learnt, but it was clear to me that my memory was rather short. Maybe I was just born like that or maybe it was due to a head injury that I sustained when I was a baby. Don’t get me wrong, it is not like I forgot everything that I had learnt or experienced, but taking into consideration how much I had read and studied, I was absolutely rubbish on quizzes and general knowledge tests, which made me really frustrated and disappointed. What was the point of all the hard work if I couldn’t remember most of it?

I concentrated too much on what I considered to be my flaws instead of things I was good at. I didn’t fully appreciate myself, my willingness, tenacity and perseverance. There were a lot of things that I achieved by working very hard like finishing MSc in Organisational Behaviour while studying in a foreign language. Also, when I did my MA I had to teach myself all the maths, statistics and econometrics concepts even though maths is by far my weakest point. The problem was that I started thinking of myself as worse than others. I was in awe of lecturers at my Uni who knew so much, who eloquently spoke about a variety of subjects and I wished I could remember everything as well as them.

Already back then I realised that some of the lecturers I so admired couldn’t relate to others outside the academia world and had problems with forming relationships. Not long ago I also understood that people close to me who have brilliant memory, something that I wanted so badly for a long time, tend to struggle much more with guilt, with blame, it is much harder for them to forget, to let go. In that moment I realised that not being able to remember everything from my past isn’t actually a weakness in my case. I am exactly who I am meant to be and there are many things that I am good at. The same applies to you. Do you know it, do you appreciate it, what do you tend to concentrate on?  

If I was to concentrate on having a short memory, I would only make it worse. If I was to think of myself as stupid, constantly comparing myself to other people, I would make myself very miserable and unhappy. Not only would my life change, but by being so discontent all the time, I would influence my loved ones and everybody around me.

I could concentrate on feeling miserable and sorry for myself or I could find other things that I am good at, things that make me happy.

I could work very hard on improving my memory, but instead I decided to change my belief about having a short memory, I changed my thoughts, feelings and actions and that actually produced the biggest effect. I no longer think of myself as having a short memory, I am a truly amazing being and I know that if there is something that I should know or remember, I will.

I don’t have to compare myself to others and it is up to me what I believe in. I am unique and so are you! You have unique qualities that others don’t have and it is only down to you whether you view them as special, cultivate them and love yourself for who you are or constantly compare yourself to others, thinking that they are better, criticise yourself and believe that you should be different.

Spend some time with yourself discovering who you really are and what is important for you, but also check whether there are some unwanted beliefs that you would benefit from changing. If there are, write down the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that you no longer want and the ones that you actually want and work on changing them every day. Daily meditation is a massive help when it comes to change.

Think about what it is that you like doing and I bet that you will be amazed to find a variety of things you are good at. They do not have to be massive, you do not need to make money doing them. It can be anything like gardening, baking, sowing, playing sports, doing puzzles, painting, singing and taking photographs to name a few. What about things that you have always wanted to try but never found time or courage to do? If you do not try them, you will never know if you like them and are good at them.

Simply love what you do and do what you love. Enjoy it, love it and through that love, you and your life will change.

It really is that simple - you either look at life and consciously find more reasons to love it, or you try to see holes in everything. Even if you fall into the latter category, every day is a new start, you can make a decision to do something about it and you can change. You create your life all the time with your thoughts, feelings, actions and choices and only you can change them. It all really depends on you, on what you want and how hard you are willing to work on the change, on becoming happy, content and grateful. You can achieve anything if you put your heart into it and not give up. You are far more extraordinary than you think 💜